Hi guys! So as you know, I’ve been wanting to expand my blog and make it more personal. I thought a good way to start would be talking about a fear of mine: public speaking.

Last week I had all of my final exams, and one of them was giving a three to five minute persuasive speech on a topic of my choice. This one gave me the most anxiety by far.

For my topic, I chose book banning in schools, and why I’m against it (possibly a post for another day). I had strong points, credible sources, and my practice time was 4:30. I knew I was ready, but I had the worst anxiety.

We started presenting on Monday, but I didn’t volunteer. Luckily my name wasn’t called either. I have this unexplainable quirk where I just can’t present on the first available day. It’s totally illogical, but I can’t help it. It’s just how I am, I guess.

On Monday night, I swore I’d go on Tuesday just to get it over with. As long as I wasn’t first or last to go (another weird thing I have), I’d be fine.

Then Tuesday morning came. I woke up feeling good and confident, but as I got ready, I started to feel queasy. I managed to eat breakfast and got to school, but all morning I felt worse and worse. I refused to go home though. I didn’t want a repeat on Wednesday morning.

Finally my English class rolled around, and I signed up to go fourth. My turn came too quickly, and let me just say- standing up in front of the dead-quiet class with everyone watching you is one of the worst things ever.

I got through it, but I messed up. Of course, I was the only one that noticed, because I always pick everything I do apart and focus on the negative. It’s not intentional, but it can’t be helped. (double negative, don’t care, haha) I accidentally left out a portion of my second point and I sped up my words, which caused my speech to clock in at 3:50 rather than 4:30. I still got an A and I’m super happy about that, but I’m also criticizing myself more than I should be.

Stuff like this happens every time I have to do any sort of major presentation or speech. Worse yet, I can’t do anything to prevent or even lessen my public speaking anxiety. So, as you’ve probably figured out, I’m not a fan of any form of public speaking.

Do you also have public speaking anxiety? If you do, is it bad like mine? If you don’t, do you have any tips to get over it? Feel free to start a conversation in the comments. 🙂 *just don’t be rude*

I should be done with The Kiss of Deception soon, so hopefully my review can be written and posted at some point tonight. 😉

Until next time- Olivia ❤